Mr. Snottyfacepants and the Pig

As I alluded to in a previous post, Sweet Son #1 has been temporarily renamed "Mr. Snottyfacepants".

Why, you ask? Well, if I tell you that he's 7 1/2 years old, those of you who have children who've reached or surpassed that age will completely understand. For those of you who don't have the slightest clue about the situtation, one adage says it all.

"Never try to teach a pig to dance. You just get dirty and it annoys the pig."

Simply put, seven year old boys are always right. They know everything. Moms are never right and they know nothing. They are the ultimate contrarians. If I told him we were going out after dinner to get ice cream, he would whine and say he wanted a milkshake instead.

And oh, the whining! His bedtime is 8:30. I generally start the warnings around 8:00:

8:00--"Bedtime in a half-hour, buddy."

8:15--"You've got about 15 minutes left, big guy."

8:25--"OK, why don't you go upstairs and brush your teeth."

This last one usually gets the first response.

Him: "WHAT?! Why do I have to go brush my teeth?"

Me: "Because you only have five minutes until bed."

Him: "WHAT?! You didn't tell me that!"

Me: "Right. The previous warnings and the fact that 8:30 is ALWAYS your bedtime didn't give you a clue."

Him: "But WHY do I have to go to bed in five minutes."

Me: "Well, now it's really three minutes because you've wasted two minutes arguing."

Him: "But I'm not tired."

Me: "Go brush your teeth."

Him: (sounds of stomping up the stairs, slamming the bathroom door, etc.)

I consider it a victory if he makes it to bed by 8:45.

Unfortunately, as I understand it, this stage of child development can last anywhere from a few months to ten years.

But by gosh, that pig will know how to dance by then.

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