Dear Sir or Madam

Today is "Open Letter Friday" over at SITS.

We've all done it, haven't we? Written those letters that will never be sent? Here's my offering, and don't forget to check out the rest of the SITStas' letters!

Happy Friday! Let's start with a nice one, shall we?

Dear Fellow Patient at My Doctor's Office:

I just wanted to thank you so very much for giving up your appointment time for me. I know this is the prime cold/flu season and my hopes of "slipping in" to see the doctor (on a Monday of all days) were just plain silly. Allowing me to take your appointment time so I could pick up SS#1 and The Manimal on time was just plain sweet. I hope you're feeling better!

It only goes downhill from here, so don't get too excited!

Dear Fellow Shopper at Wal-Mart:

I was going to apologize for my child throwing an out-and-out fit in your presence, but the look you gave me when I spanked his diaper-padded, blue jean-covered bottom because he was being disobedient made me want to tell you to MYODB*. I chose instead to smile saccharinely and go on my (not so) merry way.

For the record, MYODB is "mind your own darn (not really darn, but this is a family show) business".

Dear Gillette, Schick and Any Other Companies Who Manufacture Razors:

You are evil. I'm pretty sure that you are in cahoots together just trying to dream up new products that will require use of your specific replacement blade. I don't so much mind that Gillette products won't fit Schick and vice versa, but let's get real. If I have a Gilette Venus handle, but the Gillette Mach 3 blades are on sale, I shouldn't have to buy the new handle. I'm just saying.

It's enough to make a girl wanna go fuzzy natural.

Dear Huggies:

I was a faithful Huggies mom with Sweet Son #1. Your diapers protected the world from the sheer volume of liquid that seemed to leak out of his body at any given moment. When you came out with Huggies Overnites, I nearly cried at the possibility of not having to change his crib sheets every.single.night.

Although The Manimal's body seemed better suited to one of your competitor's products, I was still a faithful user of the Overnites. Just when I thought things couldn't get any better, you introduced a Size 6 in the Overnites. Bless You.

Then one day, they were gone. Gone from Wal-Mart. Gone from Target. Gone from KMart. Gone even from my standby bargain location for Huggies, Family Dollar. I went to the Huggies website and noticed that my most-shopped discount stores were GONE from the "Look for Huggies Overnites Here" section.


Now, I do love your diapers, but not the prices, and barring some superior sales, I don't buy diapers at grocery stores or drugstores. And just the THOUGHT of even walking NEAR a Toys R Us or Babies R Us gives me an anxiety attack.

Why, oh why did you part company with my local discount retailers? I'm one sad, sad mommy.

Who now has to do a lot more laundry, thanks to Huggies.

It's a cleansing, freeing experience, writing these letters. Can't wait to read some of the others over at SITS!

Oh, and don't forget to visit me again starting on MONDAY for my fabulous giveaways!


HiHoOhio said...

Dear Sir or Madam, great post!
From-Dear Duh-Catherine-Texan in Ohio

Lynda said...

Girl, you've got some letters going on!

Stephanie said...

Hola from Sit's!!! I love these letters! It is good to know that I am not the only one who has a panic attack whenever I go near Toys-R-US! Kudos to you momma!!

Tracy P. said...

Great job! It's a sad thing when the tried and true disappears from the shelves. Why must they think that we would rather have something "new and improved"?

Karol said...

I've been in your spot in the Dear Walmart customer!! I just love the look you get when you correct your child in a store. People, shesh.

*hugs* from a fellow SITSta!

Jenners said...

Loved this post!

Razors: I agree and just how many blades are they expecting us to use? I think there is one out there with 5 on it (I think just for men) but that just seems completely ridiculous. Well, it is winter, which I basically view as a time to slack off in the shaving department anyway.

Diapers: Oh my gosh...there is nothing worse that losing access to your preferred diapers! That is terrible. Or when they "improve" the diapers and they are worse than before. We finally just got out of that stage (except for a diaper at night ... using GoodNites which I think might be Huggies -- I hope they aren't in danger) but I was a real freak about what diaper I used. They are NOT created equal. Best of luck in finding them.

rachael said...

wow...those are some great letters! i laughed about the razors...so true, i just went through that dilemma the other day!

Lynette said...

Ha! Can I print out the Walmart one? I hate when people look at you crazy while YOU discipline YOUR kid. It's not like I was spanking your kid (which, by the way totally deserved a spanking...)

littleeverydaythings said...

These are all so true. The diaper one especially resonates with me. When Costco quit carrying Pampers in favor of their own Kirkland brand I was not happy. Fortunately my son potty trained not too long afterwards.
Have you tried buying them online? It looks like diapers.com has them. Someone told me you can buy overnite pull-ups that work well too. Good luck! Found you on SITS!

suburban prep said...

Great letters.

Veggie Mom said...

Hey there, SITSta! Gotta Super-Duper Giveaway that's Goin' On over at my place...please stop by when you have the chance!