Mom Scouts

I was a girl scout when I was a kid. Somewhere in my basement, in a box in the corner, I have the merit patches I earned. I'd pretty much forgotten about those patches until I read Life With a Little One and More. Jenners entertained us all by showing off some of her accomplishments as a Girl Scout.

Like Jenners, I imagine that my zeal for activities I once earned merit badges for wore off long ago. Doing all of the activities was fun, but let's be honest.

It was all about having a full sash.

I even participated in 4-H one year. I did a fishing poster for the County Fair.


A fishing poster which earned me a 3rd place ribbon.

I believe it was on identifying the differences between the large and small-mouthed bass.

My only knowledge of bass now is being able to distinguish a bass fish from a bass drum.

Sea bass is much tastier than a bass drum, and it fits better in a roasting pan.

Perhaps, as one of Jenners' commenters remarked, there should be a "Mom Scouts" organization, where we earn badges for our everyday tasks.

Like the "Road Safety" patch, earned upon mastery of driving while simultaneously picking up a toy from the floor of the back seat, maneuvering a sippy cup to a crying toddler and refereeing a "s/he's breathing on me!" fight in the third seat of the minivan/SUV.

Or how about the "Creative Cooking" patch, which requires the scout to make a meal on the last day before grocery shopping (out of the leftovers in the fridge, whatever semi-frostbitten items remain in the freezer, and one lonely can of wax beans from the pantry) that will appeal to every member of the family.

And then there's the "Healthy Living" patch. This patch rewards the scout for being able to maintain her "mom perkiness" after just a few hours of sleep, six loads of laundry, and her daily workout of traipsing up and down the stairs thirty-seven times a day for seven days straight.

To be followed, of course, by the "Red, White & Rose" Patch, whose only requirement is that after the rest of the family has retired for the evening, the scout must quietly sip a refreshing "adult" beverage.

Preferably in a container other than a sippy cup.

1 comment:

Paul Sevcik said...

I like the sense of humor you employ in this post. And yes, those patches would be well-deserved. How about the "Remember This" patch, which would require the recipient to simultaneously remember the spouse's calendar, church events, extended family events, and the children's calendars at any given moment while retaining balance in their own life. My mother finally went to a color-coded calendar on the fridge (orange= bday, blue = Paul appts, green = mom/dad appts, pink = sister appts, yellow = other sister appts). It worked like a gem :)