Halloween Humor

I'm all about good, clean jokes. Some of my favorites are the silly little children's jokes (Where does the king keep his armies? In his sleevies!). This one made me laugh so hard this morning that I nearly snorted my pumpkin spice latte!

A man is walking home alone late one foggy night...

when behind him he hears:

Bump...

BUMP...

BUMP...

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

BUMP...


BUMP...


BUMP...


Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him


FASTER...


FASTER...


BUMP...


BUMP...


BUMP...


He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.


However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping


clappity-BUMP...


clappity-BUMP...


clappity-BUMP...


on his heels, the terrified man runs.


Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.


With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.


Bumping and clapping toward him.


The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!


Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...

and,

(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)





The coffin stops.

Halloween Costumes

Found this over on Fussy's site and thought it was hysterically funny. Oh, what you can do with Photoshop! :)

Souptacular

This time of year always makes me want soup.

I'm a huge fan of good soup. Add some fresh salad and crusty bread, and I could survive forever.
Unfortunately, my family doesn't share my love of soup. While this may typically lead to me making a huge pot of homemade soup, freezing 90% of it and having stockpiles that any economic doomsayer would be proud of, there are times when family not liking soup is a good thing.

Because I can be creative.

I'm a foodie at heart, no getting around it. I love to cook, and I think I'd love to have a little bistro, with maybe 10 small tables, where the menu changed on my whim. Since I don't have that, I have to be satisfied with my own kitchen and trying to sneak in creativity wherever possible.

Enter Thai food.

I love Thai food. Unfortunately, our local Thai restaurant just closed, so now I'd have to head out of town to get some. There's a Thai restaurant abot 45 minutes from home that I love. More specifically, I love their soup.

Ah yes, soup. The point of the post.

Tom Gak Kai. A Thai chicken soup that is SO yummy. And easy.

And as it turns out, the timing is perfect. Because Boo Mama is hosting a Souptacular/Crockpotalooza.

Try this if you've got a hankering for Thai food...

12 oz coconut milk

12 oz can of straw mushrooms (with liquid)

approx. 1.5 cups of chopped chicken breast

approx. 1.5 cups chicken stock

1-2 tbsp fresh basil

1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (or to taste, if you like more of a a kick)

salt to taste

1/2 tsp fresh lemon juice

Bring everything to a boil. Reduce to simmer. Enjoy!

It's also really yummy with some Basmati or Jasmine rice thrown in!

Bloggy Boo!

It's the season for some good clean scaring fun! Noah's Mommy tagged me with a "Bloggy Boo", so if you want to "Boo" a few friends, snag my button and feel free. Here's how it works!

Go to as many friends as you want and tell them they've been "Boo-ed". Have them link back to your blog to pick up their Halloween Treat (picture) and tell them to "Boo" their friends. Then, put the picture in your side bar so everyone knows that you've already been "Boo-ed" and to send the pic to someone else. So, are you scared yet!!?? BOO!! Okay? one more time.....

1. Take picture, put on sidebar
2. Tell people they have been booed
3. Link back to who booed you

Get to BOO-ING!

Magic Number

Modern Mommy tagged me with a meme. Here are seven things you don't know about me. Well, most of you, anyway! :) Maybe seven RANDOM things are a better heading!

1. I'm fascinated with court/police shows. I'm a HUGE fan of the Law & Order Series.

2. I once spoke with Martin Sheen's answering machine.

3. I never drank alcohol until my 21st birthday.

4. I was married in Las Vegas.

5. I would love to be a stay-at-home mom, but not sure if I could handle it.

6. After I saw "Legally Blonde", I considered taking the LSAT.

7. I am a pack rat, but have, over the past year or so, felt a need to eliminate "stuff".

Well, there you have it! Seven is the magic number, so here are seven more that I've tagged to do the same.

C.Beth Blog

Finding Me In the Madness

I Kicked Cancer's Ass

Tale of a Kansas Girl

Oh My Stinkin Heck

Life in the Parsonage

Add Humor and Faith

Go check out these blogs. They're all on my daily blogroll and I love checking in with them!

She Must've Been REALLY Hungry...

Today we'll be discussing a member of the Diva family who has lately gotten very little blog time.

Our dog.

Princess Poopy Puppy will celebrate her second birthday next month, and thanks in no small part to the little men (monsters) in her life, she still acts much like a puppy. She loves to run and jump. She follows me EVERYWHERE (as an aside, I never truly understood "follow me around like a puppy" until she came along). Sometimes I run to the bathroom and slam the door just to get some privacy, otherwise between she and the boys, I'd NEVER have any time to myself!

And much like a puppy, she must chew. It's got to be in her genes. I've learned to keep her "rolling in rawhide" as it were, otherwise, nothing is safe. Some of her favorite things (victims) include socks, towels, rolls of toilet paper, stuffed animals. You get the idea.

Generally, I don't get too angry. She is, after all, just a puppy. And if I forget to keep her chew toys stocked, that's certainly not her fault. And if she chews up a toy or two, that will just teach SS#1 and The Manimal not to leave things lying around on the floor.

Enter the Little People. I'm talking about those of the Fisher Price variety rather than my offspring. Now, when I was their age, little people were about two inches high, with bodies and heads of wood. Then someone decided that they were choking hazards and the fine folks at FP decided to make them bigger. While I don't think they've quite got the charm of the originals, they're still pretty cute.

Especially the Nativity Scene.

I love our FP Nativity. The boys love our FP Nativity, although perhaps not quite as much as I do. It is just so darn cute, with the little Mary & Joseph, Three Kings, Shepherd, Angels. You get the idea. There is a little perch atop the stable for an angel, and when you push on her, the stable plays "Away in a Manger". The Manimal likes to experiment with various "angels" and thus far his favorite to put on top of the stable is Baby Jesus (who also seems to like to ride in the FP LP Helicopter). Too cute.

Last week, however, we suffered two great losses.

Princess must be hankering for beef, as SS#1 found remnants of the cow. Yes, she ate the Holstein, head and hooves. She was severely reprimanded for this little snack.

But just when we thought she'd learned her lesson, she committed the worst of all possible creche-related snacking sins.

She ATE the Baby Jesus.

Yes, my friends, Princess consumed, body and bed, the figure of Our Savior.

Now, the Manger toys are still cute, but without a Baby Jesus, something seems to be missing. And who will be there to "low" with the other animals if the cow is gone?

I hope God forgives doggie sins.

And please God, help me find a new Baby Jesus and cow.

Amen.

Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With Strings

Today is October 22nd. That basically leaves just over two months until Christmas. Sixty-four days, to be precise.

I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.

Now you have to give ME a moment.

Whew...

Now that we're all sufficiently shocked, let's talk about presents. Sweet Son #1 hasn't yet begun the Annual Children's Christmas Litany of "I want that. Can I have that? Do you think I could get that for Christmas?". The Manimal, unfortunately, at the tender age of almost-three has made up for both of them.

I'm not sure if it's just because I'm getting older or if the economy is influencing my thoughts, but I'm all about a homemade Christmas this year, at least for the grownups. A lot of bloggers have been talking about this as well, and I'm sure etsy will be seeing a lot of business.

For myself, I'm planning on some yummy edible gifts, including caramel corn, fresh bread, apple pie, cookies and kolaches, garlic and basil olive oil, and other tasty treats. I'll be testing the boys' creative skills with some salt dough ornaments.

Santa will likely be doing some creative bargain shopping this year, as I have decided to leave him a note explaining that we simply don't need any more toys, and what kid wants to get all clothes for Christmas?

Do you have a Christmas budget? Any thoughts on frugal, yet thoughtful Christmas gifts?

A Major Award!

I love "A Christmas Story". It's one of my favorite movies, and the "major award" scene sends me into hysterical laughter nearly every time I watch it.

This is not a major award, but I love it just the same! Meaghan over at I Kicked Cancer's Ass has bestowed the "Kreativ Blogger" award on me. She's so sweet to do that, and she's one busy lady lately, what with kicking cancer and kicking off her new coffee company and all! If you haven't yet, go visit!

Meanwhile, here are the rules of the award:

1. Mention the blog that gave you the reward and comment on their blog to let them know that you have posted the award.

2. You also have to list 6 things you VALUE and 6 things you Don't VALUE.

3. Lastly, you have to pass the award onto 6 other bloggy friends!

Six Things I Value:

1. My relationship with Christ... Although I was raised Catholic, I never felt a really personal connection with Jesus and never understood when people spoke of having one. Now I have a wonderful church home and am a fervent follower of The Galilean. My relationship with Him has truly affected every area of my life.

2. My family...We're scattered in different states, but when it comes to family, miles are no object. You never truly realize the value of family until crisis strikes, and when it did, boy howdy, they came running. I can't imagine living so far from family and not having technology around to make communication easier.

3. Respect... Earned, not demanded.

4. Love... Unconditionally given.

5. A really good night's sleep...I have young children and don't expect to get one anytime soon.

6. Education...Not always formal, but I respect those who choose to educate themselves. My grandfather didn't go beyond 8th grade, but he was one of the most intelligent people I've ever met. And I work in higher education, so that's saying quite a bit.

Six Things I DO NOT value:

1. Meanness...There is no reason for meanness. Ever. Be Nice and Play Fair.

2. Anyone who feels a sense of obligation...The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

3. Stuff...Lately I've been feeling the need to downsize. Since not everyone in my life is on board with that, I can't go to the extremes I probably would by myself, but I think Americans in general have too much stuff.

4. Dishonesty...Tell the truth. It will set you free.

5. CYA Procedures and Rules...Why can't everyone just be honest, do the right thing and be nice? Why do we feel the need to "cover our a$$es"?

6. Laziness...Get off your tookus and get going. Do something. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you.

So now comes the best part where I get to give the award to 6 bloggy friends. Go visit them and spread the bloggy love!

C.Beth Blog...Go visit Beth. She's a mom, a writer and she's FUNNY! She also has this great Writing Blog with one-minute writing prompts.

Just Lisa, No Filler...Not only does she have a really cool first name, ;) she also has a beautiful little girl, Allie Cat, and a sweet little baby boy, Adam. Oh yeah, and Wylee (as in coyote), her fab hubby.

Oh My Stinkin Heck...Heather is a mom, wife, blogger and web designer. She has a very full house (1 hubs, 3 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats, and a snake named Ringo) and a very full life, but still manages to write a great blog!

The Painted House...Now this is one "kreativ blogger". Angela is a wife, mom and ARTIST. She's very talented and I love visiting her house every day!

Mrs. Fussypants...She has SO much on her plate right now. In addition to being a wife and mom, she's started an online magazine called Blissfully Domestic. Bliss!

La Mia Cucina...I am such a foodie. I absolutely love to cook and plan meals, so I couldn't let go without one of my fave food blogs. She's real and down-to-earth and I love reading her every day!

So there you are, the Diva picks for "Kreativ Blogger". Go check them out, and Happy Monday!

Get the Bean!

I'm still recovering from the SITS Blogathon...just when I thought my blog addiction was under control, more than 300 bloggers participated in the day!

There are so many wonderful blogs, and I'm sure I'll be recommending many to you, but I have to tell you about one that touched my heart.

Meaghan left a comment on my other blog, so like a good blogger, I checked hers out. This woman is such an inspiration. In 2007, at age 28, she was diagnosed with Stage 3B Cervical Cancer. She battled long and hard, and against all odds, she beat it! You can read her touching story at her personal blog, I Kicked Cancer's Ass.

Not one to let a little thing like cancer get her down, Meaghan and her boyfriend Bryan, started a company called "Get the Bean!", specializing in organically grown coffee. Here's the cool part. They are using GTB to help fight cancer. How exactly does selling coffee fight cancer? From the GTB Website:

We at G.T.B understand Meaghan's story is not unique. There are many men and women fighting battles against cancer. At Get The Bean we want to do whatever we can to help fight cancer. We have decided to donate a portion of our proceeds to various cancer charities.

THIS IS HOW IT WORKS

1. Tell us about yours or a loved ones battle against cancer
2. We will then post your story on www.gtbfightscancer.blogspot.com
3. Each month we will pick one story to feature
4. If we pick your story you get to pick your favorite G.T.B coffee flavor
5. Next we will ask you to pick the Cancer Charity you would like G.T.B to donate proceeds to
6. For the next year we will donate .50 for every bag purchased of your chosen flavor to your

chosen charity
7. To enter your story email us at fightcancer@getthebean.com

How cool is that?! This is such a perfect example of one of my favorite quotes:

"Never doubt that a small, committed group of people can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has." (Margaret Mead)

If you are as inspired by Meaghan's story as I was, go forth and buy beans!

OK, so as a little postscript, I have to say that I was looking to buy the "coffee of the month" so I called GTB's customer service number, and guess what?! I talked to Meaghan! :) She is so excited about this project, and they are LITERALLY just getting underway, so the first story of the month hasn't yet been chosen. Stay tuned, though, I'm sure she'll let everyone know when it's up and running!

Saucy Diva

Who doesn't love comments? It's a bit of bloggy love in those few words!

A few weeks ago, I discovered The Secret is in the Sauce. SITS is a group of bloggers who leave their mark throughout the blogosphere in the form of comments. How cool is that?!

There are SO many fabulous SITSahs with sites, but I wanted to share a few of my faves.

I've mentioned that I'm trying to be more frugal lately, especially with the state of the economy! Pennies In My Pocket is a great site where Melody shares her bargain hunting tips and general fun things. Go check her out!

"I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several attack me at once!" Have you ever felt like this? :) Go visit Evi at Keeping Up With Yesterday. She's a Canadian girl who blogs about every day life.

Mama's Losin' It is MamaKat's fabulous blog. She's so funny and so REAL! Her kids are adorable and she'll introduce you to the whole fam!

Go see Heather at Nobody-But-Yourself. Her Karma Post had me shooting Diet Coke out of my nose.

These are just a few of the loads of excellent bloggers you'll meet when you visit SITS! I love reading everyone's posts, and while I don't make it every day, SITS has great giveaways too! :)

Now go visit SITS and become a "Saucy" Diva yourself!

Time Flies and Water Flows

Holy cats! Is it really October 6th already? I'm such a bad blogger...

Well, not really, but you know, LIFE has been happening. Time sure does fly when you're too busy to pay attention to it, doesn't it?

Living in the midwest, we don't get too many hurricanes, but it seems that Ike got a bit sidetracked. Of course, our damage was nothing compared to my Buckeye State friends (or those in the south and southeast who actually prepare for hurricanes), but the collateral rains which made their way up here to the Windy City were a bit too much for our sump pump to handle.

Water. In the basement.

Fortunately, our Menard's still had sump pumps on the shelf that night at 8:30. A store a few miles away had NONE. Diva husband installed it, and we were on to the drying process.

Here is where the lesson comes in, for those of you who have been fortunate enough to not yet have any flooding.

When your basement floods, be sure to check each and every corner thoroughly. As in, actually go to each and every wall, and don't just do a cursory visual check.

Or weeks later, when you go downstairs to get something, you might just have a damp, musty surprise on your hands.

The good thing about a damp, musty surprise is that it forces you to go through many boxes and papers that you probably should have organized long ago, and, well, THROW THINGS AWAY.

The bad thing is that some things are not as nice when you add water and time.

Take, for example, a rag doll. An old rag doll. As in, the old girl is pushing 40.

When I was little, my grandma made me a doll. The unique thing about this particular rag doll is that she made her with two faces. As a child, I can remember thinking that one looked "nice" and one looked "mean". Apparently, Grandma didn't care for the first face she made, but rather than rip it out, she just turned it over and made a second face on the other side. Kind of weird now that I look back, but I loved (and still love) that doll. Before her bath, she even had a tatoo, where I had written my name in blue pencil on her belly/back long ago.

Her names are Penelope and Gertrude. Now, I never actually knew anyone named Penelope OR Gertrude, so I'm not sure how they were even in my head. I do, however, have a very vivid memory as to WHY I named her those particular names.

Her "nice face" is named Penelope. It still baffles me, as Penelope is a perfectly nice name, but it was, at that time, the most beautiful name my little pre-school mind could conjure.

Gertrude, as you probably have surmised by now, was the name of her "mean face" side. Now, as someone approaching 40, I think Gertrude is a fine name. Elegant, even. It brings to mind Gertrude Stein, Expat American Author who spent her adult life in Paris. Or Shakespeare's "Hamlet" character, Queen Gertrude of Denmark. And it can be shortened to Gert (which for some reason reminds me of a cat) or Trudy (as in Trudy Monk, beloved late wife of one of my favorite TV characters, Adrian Monk).

But I digress. At the time, "Gertrude" was the ugliest, most horrible name I could think of. If your name is Gertrude, or any variant thereof, I do apologize for my pre-school thinking.

To this day, I can think of nobody I know named Gertrude or Penelope.

Except this little lady (these little ladies?), who, other than a removed tatoo and a few places needing to be stitched seems to have come through just fine.



And just for the record, that's Gertrude on the top and Penelope on the bottom.