Dear Sir or Madam

I snagged this idea from my bloggy buddy Whitney. I figure it's a good way to avoid going postal when people drive you crazy stay in the holiday spirit.

Dear Comcast,

I applaud your new "improved customer service" ad campaign for which I've seen multiple television and print ads. However, I feel the need to remind you of the importance of truth in advertising.

That is all.

Sincerely,
ElleBee (aka "Please Santa, bring AT & T UVerse to my neighborhood for Christmas!")

Dear Lane Bryant,

As someone who is shaped like a freaking pear was blessed with good birthing hips, I am in love with your new Right Fit trouser jeans, size 5 blue. I could wear them every.single.day. I love the fact that I can wear a real belt and not have a big old gap at the back.

I think maybe you should give me a pair that I can use as a giveaway. I know some other curvy girls who would love them!

Kiss-Kiss,
ElleBee (aka "So glad I don't have to pay $75 for a pair of nice jeans anymore!")

Dear Children's Television Ad Programmers,

While I understand the economic importance of television advertising, is it necessary to have what seems to be an overabundance of girl toys? With an impressionable almost-four-year-old BOY, I'd appreciate more gender-neutral or boy-specific toys so my child doesn't feel that Santa needs to bring him Polly Pocket or the Dora Links doll.

It was bad enough that for Halloween he wanted to be a fireman with a pink jacket.

kthxbye,
ElleBee (aka "I never thought I'd wish for more Pokemon or Bakugan or Legos")

Dear Feminists Who Will Inevitably Consider Responding to the Above Letter,

Yes, I know I sound sexist and stereotypical. I don't care. They're my children, not yours.

Leave my Mommy's boys alone,
ElleBee (aka "The Mother Hen")

Tuesday Top Ten

Welcome to Ten on Tuesday! Today we feature a lovely list in honor of a 300 mile road trip with two boys.

Ten Travel Tips

1. Control the audio

When I was growing up the rule was that the driver controlled the radio. Notsomuch anymore. Sanity often dictates giving up the grown-up music for yet another round of KidsBop or Veggie Tales. Which leads me to #2.

2. Tune out the monkeys with a Personal DVD Player

Too much TV is a problem I constantly battle. In the car, however, I gladly set up the DVD player in the back and let them watch until they turn into zombies fall asleep.

3. No more melted crayons!

Three words: Crayola Color Magic

4. Yellow Car

SS#1 introduced us to this fun little car game. It actually keeps BOTH boys occupied for a good 30 minutes. The premise is simple. Look for yellow vehicles, have one of the munchkins keep track. As SS#1 puts it, "If it moves, it counts".

5. Very Few Snacks

This may seem contradictory to traveling with children, but I don't like to overpack the snackage. A couple of bottles of water or juice boxes, and some dry, non-messy snacks (shelled peanuts are a fave) and we're good to go. We tend to stop once to eat and usually twice more to empty the human bladders and/or fill the automobile bladder.

6. Everyone Pees

Whether or not they think they have to go, when we stop, we go. Got it?

7. Pillow

I've learned that a pillow for each child makes it much more likely that napping will occur. Of course, it also makes it more likely that at least one pillow fight will ensue, but that's a chance I'm willing to take.

8. Mrs. Garmin

It used to be that Mapquest and I were constant travel companions. I didn't travel more than a couple of miles from my house without him. For the most part, that relationship served me well.

Then I met Mrs. G. And while we've had our ups and downs, and sometimes I turn the wrong way just to irritate her, I usually follow where she leads.

And the best part is, she can play audio books and music WHILE she calmly directs your travel!

9. Audio Books

Oh, my audio books, how did I ever travel long distances without you? Now I can hear your wonderful words on my GPS or on the CD player. Oh joy, oh rapture. And Cracker Barrel even has audio books you can rent and return on your trip home.

10. "______________________ or-so-help-me-I'll-stop-this-car-right-now!"

Pick your poison.

Music Monday

It's that time again! Hum a tune, sing a song, flip on the radio, because it's Music Monday! Today's Music Monday is for my friend Viv! :)

I love Glee. It brings me back to some of my favorite high school memories. We didn't have a show choir, but high school music organizations all seem to share similar characteristics.

This isn't the Glee cast, but holy cats, this kid is good. It is a Glee arrangement of the classic Journey tune.

Sing it with me, kids...

Six Word Saturday (a day late)

The Greatest Show on Earth? YES!

Six Word Saturday

Why must boys fight like barbarians?

Fragmentation

It's Friday, it's Friday!

Today is my LAST day of work for a whole week. I don't have to come back until DECEMBER 1st! :)

DH and I were watching Letterman last night. Dave's not been really funny in quite a long time, but for some reason, we keep coming back. So we've come up with this new game. Lately his three favorite topics have been Bernie Madoff, Sarah Palin and Paul Shaffer's new book. He's bound to mention at least one of them, and if he mentions all three, we figure he's hit the Late Night Trifecta.

Two nights ago, it was all Sarah, all night.

Last night, twelve minutes into the show, he brought up Sarah Palin.

Eight minutes later, he was pushing Paul's book. We waited with baited breath, hoping he'd be batting a thousand.

Sadly, we only went two for three last night. No Bernie.

The Manimal was "eckercising" last night. He was using a drawer handle (that DH had purchased) as a barbell, and pretending to "lift weights". Now, just to be clear, this is the SAME drawer handle that he has been told multiple times NOT to touch. I told him to go show his father, that daddy would LOVE it.

He walked into Daddy's office, grunting and straining as though he were a champion lifter. DH told him to go put the drawer handle away RIGHT NOW.

The Manimal walked by me quickly, handle in hand and muttered, "He didn't love it."

"Twilight New Moon" premiered last night (or more accurately, this morning). I didn't see it. I won't see it. I haven't read the books. I have no intention of reading the books. Bella, Edward and Jacob really have no appeal to me.

I must be getting old.

Tuesday Top Ten

It's not Letterman's Top Ten, but welcome to Ten on Tuesday!

Ten Things I'm Loving Right Now

1. Il Moscato

A delicious, budget friendly version of my fave sparkling moscato. Trader Joe's has it for $9.99 a bottle. Yum-O! An odd little quirk with this brand, which also has Il Prosecco, if you're so inclined, is that it doesn't have a cork. Rather, it must be opened with a bottle opener, so if you're the only one enjoying a bit of the bubbly, be sure to pick up one of these vacuum stoppers to keep it fizzy for next time.

Or you could just finish off the bottle. However, then next morning, you might need this.

2. Home Depot

While I'm not usually a big fan of superstores in general, I don't mind going to Home Depot to pick up the random item for Diva Husband. Last week, Homer and the gang ran this fabulous deal for $3 off LED Christmas Lights. Since DH does light duty in our home, he sent me to pick up lights for our new tree (See below).

3. Ginormous Christmas Trees

Our family room ceiling is 18' tall. For five years, DH has lamented the fact that our Christmas Tree, in all of it's 8' glory, was lost in the height of the room. Thanks to Craigslist, we are the proud owners of an almost-new 12' tree. And our pocketbook is $50 lighter.

Not a bad deal. Pics to follow.

4. Patient (If a wee bit dumb) Dogs

If you've read my musings for any length of time, you'll be familiar with Princess (the Wonder Dog)and her archnemesis, The Manimal. I had really hoped that, with Christmas coming, we could use the age-old threat: "Santa only visits good little boys."

It's not working. Poor pup.

5. Fall Weather

I love Autumn. It's my favorite season of the year. The gorgeous fall colors, crisp air, Friday night bonfires. The whole package. I enjoy the occasional Indian Summer weekend, but I especially love Autumn.

Particularly when Mother Nature remembers that Autumn weather should occur in October/November.

6. A Nine Year-Old Boy

I love SS#1 with all my heart. He's my first, my baby, my little Squirtle. I'm not loving this "I'm always right" stage. But I do love my boy. I love my boy. I love my sweet stubborn boy.

7. Finding the Perfect Gift

I found the absolute perfect gift for my parents. Unfortunately, I can't even give you a clue, since BOTH of them read my blog. I also found the perfect gifts for The Lawyer and my Wonderful SIL, and my nephews, Tex, Sir Falls-a-Lot and Baby Bean. Well, I haven't really found the one for Baby Bean yet, but I'm hoping my luck holds out.

I can give you a leetle clue on my gift for The Lawyer and Wonderful SIL. She actually introduced me to this company. Prices are reasonable and I found a 35% discount code which made my personalization and shipping FREE! :)

And that leads me to...

8. Online Discount Codes

I'm late to the party on this one, I'm sure, but did you know that you can Google to find discount codes for online shopping? They don't always work, and sometimes they bring up expired codes, but it's SO worth trying! I just enter the business name and "discount code" or "coupon" and it brings up the results.

Saving money AND finding great gifts. Merry Christmas to me!

9. Good Books

I've recently finished reading the Mitford books, by Jan Karon. When I was 7, I received the Little House on the Prairie Boxed Set for my birthday. I read them so many times that my mom had to put them away for awhile so I'd read other books.

Last year, she gave them back to me.

I've re-read them twice since then.

I'm pretty sure Mitford is becoming my grown-up version of the Little House books.

10. Vacation

I have exactly four days of work left before I'm off for A WHOLE WEEK. Three days if you don't count today. Then I work for fourteen days and I'm off for TWO MORE WEEKS.

Vacation/PTO days are one of the few best perks of my job! :)

Music Monday

It's that time again! Hum a tune, sing a song, flip on the radio, because it's Music Monday!

A local radio station has jumped the gun a bit. While it may seem odd, seeing as how just last week I commented how I was ready for Christmas decorating, but I do have a problem with radio stations switching to their "All Christmas, All the Time" format two weeks before Thanksgiving!

While there isn't exactly a plethora of Thanksgiving music, there is a lovely old hymn that is one of gathering to give thanks. Enjoy this version by Celtic Woman.

Sunday Selah

Change is hard. It is painful. But oh, so very worth it.

Stop and listen, all who have ears.



Selah.

Six Word Saturday

Loved friends today. God is good.

Fragmentation

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas! No, we haven't had snow, but in my head we're having a white Christmas. Yeah, I know. I'm crazy, but I'm all about the decorating this year. I've also had this song running through my head.

You're welcome.

What is with children and sofa cushions? It is apparently impossible for my children to play in the living room without removing ALL of the cushions from BOTH sofas. On the plus side, the dog likes to eat the dust encrusted fruit snacks and pieces of popcorn that seem to multiply like rabbits in the crevices, and our change jar has grown a bit heavier.

You know those days when you want to run away and join the circus? In a week I'll be about as close as I'll ever be. Ringling Bros. is in town and we're going to sell the boys to the clowns.

Not really. The clowns said they'd take the big one but the little one scared them a bit. I told them they came as a package.

They said the deal was off.

So we're just going to watch. I'll let you know how it goes.

Many Thanks

(image courtesy of mediabistro.net)

I'm proud to say that I'm an Air Force brat. My dad served his country for twenty years. That experience gives me empathy for all those who grow up in military families. When mom or dad serves, the whole family serves.

It also gives me a strong sense of patriotism. Today we honor all of the men and women who have served and continue to serve in defense of our country. Whether in wartime or peacetime, at home or abroad, we thank you.

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ~Cynthia Ozick

When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them. ~Chinese Proverb

This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. ~Elmer Davis

I think there is one higher office than president and I would call that patriot. ~Gary Hart

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them. ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Thanks to all veterans, and especially to my favorite veteran of all...

Tuesday Top Ten

It's not Letterman's Top Ten, but welcome to Ten on Tuesday!

Ten Fabulously Easy Holiday Decorating Tips

1. We'll start with one of my favorite holiday centerpieces ever! Find an inexpensive cut glass bowl or glass trifle dish (often already living in your kitchen or pantry) like this:


and fill it with glass/plastic ball ornaments like these:
2. Do you love holiday wall decals like these? Me too! Unfortunately, we'd rather not spend that kind of money on them. Check out Walmart, Target and your local grocery stores. I found some smaller Christmas themed decals for...are you ready for this?

$2.00 each!

3. If you're having guests for the holidays, try to put a bit of the holidays in every room. In our powder room, I have a square laurel wreath with a brown velvet ribbon. During the holidays, I put red berry picks in the wreath. Before our guest room was otherwise occupied with a certain preschooler, our holiday guests enjoyed small candle groupings and holiday potpourri on the bedside table.

4. Stock up on Command Strips and Hooks. Trust me on this one. It will make your holiday decorating SO much easier!

5. Decorating is much more fun if you set the mood. A nice cup of cocoa or glass of wine, along with some fabulous background music will really make for an enjoyable time. I'm partial to a nice sparkling moscato and one of these new Christmas music collections:


6. Let the kids help. When I was little, Diva Nana used to let Baby Brother and I make window decorations. We'd draw and color to our hearts' content, then she'd tape the snowmen, candy canes and Christmas trees in the front window. They may not have made the cut for Pottery Barn or Martha Stewart, but we loved them and loved that we got to help!

7. Take a bow. You'll be taking bows after you show off your incredible bow-making skills. Several years ago I happened to be in a Container Store where they were giving holiday bow-making classes. That fifteen minute class and some practice with wired ribbon has served me well over the years. Pre-made bows are pricey, and it's amazing how some sale ribbon can be transformed into beautiful bows for stairwells, mantles, gifts, wreaths and more! Check out your local Michael's or Hobby Lobby, or ask a florist friend for their secrets!

8. Go back in time. Have a hot air popcorn popper in the depths of your cabinets? Pull it out and make some popcorn garlands. Be sure to use a fairly fine needle and make LOTS of popcorn, so you've got enough to string, even if some breaks. If you're really ambitious, alternate with cranberries or even red beads.

9. Remember your outdoor friends. Make some popcorn bird feeders with pinecones, peanut butter and birdseed. Hang them with some red string and deck the outdoor halls!

10. Pick up an inexpensive solid color tablecloth for everyday use. Even if, like me, your china doesn't match and you tend to use paper napkins, and your cuisine is more Rachel Ray than Julia Child, everything is a bit more festive when served with a tablecloth!

Happy Decorating!

Music Monday

Christmas is coming.

Yes, I realize that in past years, I've berated the jump the gun retailers who start pushing Christmas the day after Halloween.

But I'm actually looking forward to decorating for Christmas this year. I can't explain it, but because I'm an event planner, I have to seize that Christmas spirit when it hits.

Case in point: Last year, we had maybe 30 ornaments on our tree. By the time we put it up, I was so DONE with holiday decorating, that I just couldn't handle one more colored light, candy cane or styrofoam cup bell ornament.

Things are gonna be different this year.

We may be setting a new family record for earliest Christmas decorating, but by Jove, we'll have some spirit! :)

Which leads me (in a strange, roundabout sort of way) to Music Monday. Growing up, my mom had four Christmas albums that made the rounds during the holidays. My Christmas music teeth were cut on the classics.

Johnny Mathis, Bing Crosby, Boots Randolph and Andy Williams.

So it's no surprise that one of my favorite Christmas movies EVER is "White Christmas" with Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen.

Love it.

Happy Early Decorating.

Sunday Selah

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. One of my favorite bloggers, Octamom (note that she is the ORIGINAL Octamom, not to be confused with the Octomom) has a weekly Sunday post she calls "Sunday Selah".

The word "selah" is a Hebrew word that is often translated as "stop and listen". Sunday morning is a perfect time for Selah, which is a beautiful sentiment in today's go-go-go society.

Selah can be music or words, a picture or a thought, a point to ponder. Stop and listen, all who have ears.

I tend to be hard on myself. I joke that it's my Catholic upbringing...the guilt that never really goes away. I've had a lot of folks try to remind me that God never intended us to continue to berate ourselves for past or perceived sin. It's a tough lesson for someone who tends to harbor perfectionist tendencies and think in black and white.

"But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." (John 8:1-11)

I've heard that story dozens of times. Usually I think "well of course I wouldn't treat another person like that". But how about myself? Why would I treat one of God's precious children like that?

A dear friend recently introduced me to a new song. And since I love to know the stories behind the songs, I found it. Story first, then song.

Selah.